Okay, so I know i’m not the smartest or the brightest but I’d like to feel appreciated and needed too. I know you only came back to our group just because she and I were gonna be partners in this project. I know it may seem like i’m not doing much but I try. I just don’t say as much or write as much because I know the look you give me. I know the look you have when you read what I wrote. I’m dumb okay. I know. I’m not that great at school and I’m sorry I’m not as smart as you guys. I try. I try to be smart, I try to not sound stupid, and I am honestly trying to win your approval. Weird, I know.
Since I’m a selective eater, I apparently have an eating disorder. Weird i guess.
I don’t feel like I have a healthy eating schedule thing. Like i eat little to nothing for breakfast and lunch and I always over eat for dinner. Idk, I looked this up and it says I’m a binge eater….i don’t even know.
Gosh, sometimes I just really hate how my body looks..
All I want to do is sit on my bed, eat peanut butter and watch Breaking Dawn <3
I just want someone in my life to come up to me and ask me if I’m okay. Just ask me how my life is or how I feel. Someone who is willing to listen to me talk and go on and on and not care one little bit. I’m human. I feel pain and hurt. Just because I’m all smiley and hyper at school doesn’t mean that I cant be negative or sad.
I’m tired of trying to catch your eye or make you notice me. I’m just done. I’m just going to let you go cause it just hurts me to see you with anyone else. Even though you were the one guy who I constantly talked to, I guess this is just better for me. I’m gonna try and talk to you as less as possible. You’re hilarious, sweet and wonderful but I need space to try to force myself to stop liking you. It only kills me to know that you wont ever feel the same way. One and a half year, that’s how long I spent trying to impress you. That’s how long my eyes shifted towards you as you walked pass me. I guess today was my realization point that I just have no chances with you.
I feel like tumblr helped me become who I really am. Like helped me figure out my personality, style and helped me realize what I want in life. Tumblr has been my go to place to vent. Even though non of you really read it, it helps to get it all out. I’ve talked about my weird and sad life, the sucky boys in it and the people that go to my school who I want to bitch slap. Through tumblr, I’ve seen sooo many different types of style and that really helped me decide what I like and really helped define me and my personality. I hope that made sense… Tumblr opened my eyes to all the different type of people in the world. Showed me that hot guys could be sensitive, not all the friends I meet online are 80 year old men who are pedos, and that it get’s better. You don’t know how many times just going on anon and venting to someone about my problems has helped me. When I’ve having an emotional wreck, I know that people here would actually talk to me, tell me it gets better and be there for me.